It was a long journey, a hard journey. One that asked everything of us and gave no guarantees of anything in return. My husband and I have been together 14 years, married for 6 and trying for 3.5 when we started IVF.
We began trying in 2018, 1.5 years after we got married. We planned on trying as soon as we got married but I put it off as I wasn’t ready. If I’d have known how long it would take I wouldn’t have been so cavalier about postponing. I always knew it might not be a quick process as it took my parents a while to have me but I just hoped we’d be one of those couples where it just happened.
Nope.
After 6 months of trying I wondered if anything was wrong. I was also having some really bad pains in my ovaries and pushed for investigation into this. This led to a laparoscopy to rule out endometriosis. Luckily it wasn’t that. Unluckily, there was no explanation of the pain or the lack of conceiving but it was too early for more investigation into this. It’s usually around 18 months to 2 years of trying without conceiving in the UK before more investigation will be considered so that’s how long we had to wait. 18 months.
It started with blood tests, semen analysis, swabs etc but then Covid hit. Nothing was followed up. It wasn’t a priority. Something we understood and still do but makes it no less frustrating when we look back. By the time we were able to pick things up again (2021) our tests were out of date and we had to start from scratch. We finally got a referral for more tests at our local hospital. A hycosy (Google it if you’re bored) and more bloods.
The results were positive - nothing found. It was at this point we were asked if we wanted to be referred for IVF (yes please and like, yesterday).
It was 3 months before we heard anything further despite much chasing on our part (turns out our referral was lost and had to be re-sent). We had our IVF consult in November 2021 where it was explained that it was ‘not something to be taken lightly’ and was ‘no small undertaking’. Cue 3 hours spent one evening reading all the consent forms, doing the quizzes and watches the videos all for this one chance at IVF (that’s all we were funded for - thanks UK postcode lottery). It could be worse, some people get no funding at all.
We began IVF in January 2022. I had 41 injections in total, the down regs were a bitch (they made me feel like my body didn’t belong to me and the headaches were insane) the stims weren’t much better and the trigger was a means to an end. At our egg retrieval we got 18 eggs which were split into 9 IVF and 9 ICSI. By the day of the transfer we had 3 embryos. One which was transferred as a fresh transfer and 2 for the freezer. The embryologist said there were 2 remaining that hadn’t yet made up their minds and she could monitor them for an extra day if we’d like. I’m so glad she did as they became an extra 2 viable embryos which now make up the 4 frosties we have stored at our chosen facility.
The whole process was an emotional rollercoaster, one that few people understand unless they’ve been through it. I hadn’t appreciated how much it would change me as a person or us as a couple. It was a journey we did largely alone so as not to add extra pressure but the few people we did tell were wonderfully supportive.
Fast forward to October 2022 and our one chance became Logan. Our little miracle baby boy. We never got a diagnosis for our infertility, just that ever frustrating, ‘unexplained infertility’ label. A label that will stay with us but we are so lucky and grateful for our IVF journey, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Nadine shares her story from UK.
Thank you for sharing x Emma & Lynette.
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