In June 2020 I went in for some prenatal blood test in anticipation to start a family in the coming year. From this I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease, linked up with a endocrinologist and started on medication.
I decided to come off the pill to allow my body to get into its own regular cycle but a period never came. I told my endocrinologist thinking maybe it was just the Graves’ disease however my test results were improving in respect to that so my endocrinologist thought that unlikely. He said he would send me for some blood tests and I didn’t know it at the time but he tested all my hormone levels and my amh.
When I returned to see him for a next appointment I was completely thrown went he told me my hormone results are showing that my body is in menopause and my amh significantly low.
He said it could be possible that I have premature ovarian insufficiency aka early or premature menopause. He told me I would need to have the bloods repeated in 6 weeks to confirm but I already knew in my heart this was my sad reality and immediately pondered on what this meant for having children.
Early menopause at 25 and IVF
January 2021 I booked into see a gynaecologist after having repeat bloods 6 weeks later. These blood tests confirmed that my body was definitely in menopause. I should mention at the time of this diagnosis I was only 25.
The doctor told me “no other forms of fertility treatment can help you. You need to go straight to IVF with donor eggs if you want to have a baby” as he then mumbled off all the other risks and health concerns that come with this diagnosis but said for now we shall focus on the infertility side of things.
It was crazy to think that not only was hearing the word IVF and also the words egg donor? Like what I’m only 25?
For a while I felt my life was over, I had always wanted to be a mother but in those moments it seemed impossible and I reflect on it now wishing I could go back and tell that girl how amazing her journey would pan out and that her life is changing for the better. My life changed after that but my world needed to change to make space for the light about to enter my life in a time of great darkness.
I called my brother and we talked about it all I remember telling him I didn’t have a sister and I wasn’t sure what to do regarding donor eggs as you can’t just go into a egg bank here in Australia.
A couple of weeks later we visited my brother and his long term girlfriend. His girlfriend my beautiful sister in law offered to donate eggs to us.
Something about it all just seemed so “meant to be” so we started the process. I looked up IVF clinics and specialists I thought could best assist our personal situation. We set up appointments and did all the compulsory counselling.
I had to grieve loss of my genetics but was always surprisingly okay with this it’s like I just knew that something beautiful was coming my way and that that little being would change the world. It was really helpful having an amazing counsellor through the IVF clinic who assisted me to work through some big feelings throughout the whole process.
Donor eggs and a transfer
Later in October 2021 we went to our clinic in Sydney where my sister in law underwent egg retrieval and my partner gave sperm so that embryos could be created. We ended with two embryos which did have me rather worried at first and quite down but I learnt very quickly that’s it’s not always about quantity at least not in my case.
My two embryos were frozen and I was taking hormonal replacement therapy to bring on a regular cycle.
On the 1/12/2021 we did our first frozen embryo transfer. I remember going in with so much hope and optimism like I just knew it was going to work out and I funnily enough had a gut feeling that the little embryo being put inside me was going to be a little girl!
Then of course I endured the two week wait!
Again I worked with my counsellor during this time, took it easy at work, continued to walk everyday and prioritise my mental health. I personally decided not to do a home pregnancy test and to wait for the blood test. 13/12/21 I went in at 7am for the blood test and wasn’t called until 3-4pm which felt like forever but the call confirmed that I was in fact pregnant!! We had a 16 week gender reveal ultrasound which confirmed that we were in fact having a little girl!!
I’m forever grateful to the village that helped me have a baby in such a unconventional but most beautiful way possible, it was the right way for me and my family and when undergoing the process somehow I always knew that.
I’m so thankful and proud of myself for following my heart in every step and doing what felt right in those moments. On the 31/8/23 my beautiful girl Elena was born. It still makes me tear up had I had a baby with my own genetics, I wouldn’t have Elena and she is just so perfectly perfect in every way I wouldn’t change a single part of her! I always say we were made to find each other and I believe that so deeply in my soul.
Baby Elena
So I’m now 7 months postpartum. My beautiful girl is definitely what you would call your classic Velcro baby she is so attached to us and it’s honestly beautiful. Elena will know every part of her story and so will the rest of the world. I would love to create more awareness around early menopause because there is so little information out there and I feel it’s so underrated however it is slowly becoming more prevalent.
I’m also obviously a huge advocate for donor eggs and would love to spread more awareness and joy in this area which can be difficult to navigate. We would love to bring another baby earth side in the coming future and have our one little embryo left in the freezer so I’m crossing everything that when the time is right that beautiful babe is waiting for us.
Simone shares her story from Australia, Bathurst NSW.
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