My Husband, Cameron, and I met through my best friend Natalie10 years ago. Natalie was having her 21st birthday on the Gold Coast and I was living in Sydney. I had contacted her brother to see if he could come to pick me up from the airport and help me surprise her. Cameron picked me up after my flight, and we have been together ever since.
We got married in September 2018 and soon after the wedding, I stopped taking my oral contraception. It’s not that we were actively trying to conceive we were just saying if it happens it happens. I was given a diagnosis of PCOS in 2016 and had a long history of having very irregular periods where it could be 40-70 day cycles so we weren’t expecting it to necessarily be quick or easy to fall pregnant.
We eased off “trying” a little when I decided to go to Africa to nurse for a few weeks with some friends of mine, however, in February 2020 the trip was cancelled due to covid-19. We decided in March to see a fertility specialist and being where we are situated, in the small town of Cunnamulla in southwest Queensland (a 9hr drive from Brisbane) we didn't have any options for bulk billing fertility practices, so we chose to go private.
Navigating Covid-19, fertility treatments and living in a rural town
Unfortunately due to Covid-19, restrictions were placed on travelling especially with my job being a nurse and as such a front-line worker, it became really quite difficult for me to actually leave our southwest district. I had to have multiple covid-tests if I left the district and I had to quarantine until my results came back which at that time was taking a number of days. I had to have medical clearance before I entered back into the southwest district. It was a bit of a nightmare and I just wanted to see a specialist, by that stage I hadn’t had a cycle in almost three months so I wasn’t getting pregnant any time soon.
Come May I was finally able to see a fertility specialist, I was started on daily FSH injections to help regulate my cycles as well as to get my body to ovulate. Things got very complicated when we realised that because of our location my blood test results to check my FSH levels were taking four days to process and come back. So the first time I ovulated we actually missed it. We had gone a few months trying to see if we could work around it but we weren’t really anticipating the four days for results to know exactly when I was ovulating. I could do a six-hour round trip to the next town over and get my results in two days, but that wasn’t viable to do two times a week while full-time working.
Starting IVF
After a few more months of increasing my FSH injections and trying to work it out, we saw my Doctor in Brisbane again who basically told us the only option from here was IVF. Before starting our first cycle in November of 2020, I went for a D&C and polypectomy to remove some polyps from my uterus and start fresh and within four weeks I was starting our first cycle.
I didn’t respond well to my first cycle. My Doctor had told me she would be happy if we managed to get 8 eggs collected. When I woke up in recovery and she told me she collected 12 I was overjoyed. That joy soon disappeared when only four out of the 12 fertilised, and by day five only one had survived and I was told that it was not of good quality. They continued to transfer it however I was only given a 10% chance of it working. It didn’t work, and that was my first round of IVF. Both my husband and myself were completely deflated and I felt like a huge failure.
From there we did a cycle in January 2021 following a laparoscopy to remove what we found was stage two endometriosis. Again after collecting 10 eggs, 6 that were fertilised via ICSI, we were left with just one for transfer. It was a below-average quality embryo, it did however give me my first positive pregnancy test. But 14 days post transfer I was told my HCG results of 13 was not a viable pregnancy, my period started that evening.
I was broken, I started to avoid social settings, visiting and talking to friends, I would cry constantly at anything and everything, and some days I didn’t get out of bed. My husband was the best and was trying so hard to stay positive and help me through it all but I certainly didn’t make it easy on him.
Our third cycle was in April 2021, we had to change doctors since our previous one had gone on extended leave. So starting fresh with a new doctor we had a total of 8 eggs collected, again leaving us with one for transfer and none to freeze. This too failed and by this stage, I was emotionally spent. I had used all my sick days and annual leave from work since I had to take two weeks off work at a time to go to Brisbane for each cycle.
We had undergone three IVF cycles in under 6 months through a private clinic and we were fortunate that we could afford to do so. We had gone gluten, dairy and alcohol-free since January and had seen little to no improvement, if anything my cycles were getting worse. It took me some time to be ready for a fourth cycle, I had been talking to my Doctor about donor eggs but he encouraged me to keep going.
Our fourth IVF cycle
Come August 2021 I was ready, we had 14eggs collected, 9 fertilised via ICSI. We were blessed with the perfect 4AA grade embryo and a 3BB and 5BB both to be frozen. The relief we felt in getting some to freeze, feeling like we could get a break from not having to do a cycle straight away. And we really didn’t have to, that perfect little 4AA turned into a pregnancy.
On the 3rd of May 2022, we welcomed a beautiful baby boy named Hamish. Throughout my whole pregnancy, I carried my infertility. My anxiety and previous traumas did not leave me despite the two pink lines, blood tests and multiple scans to prove me otherwise. I spent the whole time waiting for something bad to happen, luckily it never did.
I never expected to be told at 28 that my only option for a child was IVF. It was the hardest thing not only physically but mentally I have ever had to do and although I’m now lucky enough to have a beautiful little boy I know when the time comes to use those frozen embryos everything I have ever felt in this journey will come rushing back. Except now my amazing, supportive husband and little boy are both there to help pick me up if those bad days arise and I know now I am strong enough to face whatever hand we are now dealt.
I’m stuck between wanting to enjoy and soak up as much time with Hamish as I can all while knowing I’m on somewhat of a ticking clock, especially if my frozen embryos don’t work. I have a constant fear that they won’t turn into pregnancy and then baby, and we will have to start again, only this time I along with my eggs will be older. But for now, that’s something I am forcing myself to ignore and will worry about when the time comes.
Alycee shares her story from Southwest Queensland, Australia.
Thank you for sharing x Emma & Lynette.
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