In Australia and around the world, a growing number of couples are turning to assisted technology to aid them in their journey to parenthood. And my husband and I are one of the unlucky ones.
Over the past two years, I’ve undergone countless tests, had surgery on my uterus and sought help from doctors, specialists and all sorts of alternative medicine practitioners. The outcome is always the same — there’s nothing wrong with us.
We are 1 in 9 Australian couples with infertility. With odds like that, the likelihood that someone in your workplace is struggling to conceive is relatively high. And like the many women before them, they probably suffer in silence.
Infertility is not solely a women’s issue. But women are the ones who, for the most part, physically and mentally carry the load when trying to conceive and throughout pregnancy. According to research, women with infertility have the same stress and anxiety levels as women diagnosed with cancer, HIV or heart disease.
Unless you’ve personally dealt with it, it’s hard to understand what infertility involves. We started Not Another Bad Egg, a community and safe space for women to share stories to build awareness and break down stigmas. Since launching, I’ve had countless conversations with women about their feelings of helplessness, shame and isolation. Some have yet to open up to their own families.
While there are pockets of safe places for women to discuss their struggles with infertility, few feel comfortable opening up in the workplace, even when it’s from behind closed doors. The same goes for pregnancy loss (1 in 4 women) and endometriosis (1 in 9 women), a debilitating disease that often leads to difficulties falling pregnant.
So, if infertility is so prevalent, why are we not talking about it more in the workplace?
Infertility and the workplace
I first spoke to my former employer about my fertility struggles the same day I quit. While I was fortunate enough to have flexible working hours and sick leave for doctor's appointments, there was no formal arrangement or support for women with infertility.
My decision to leave was about prioritising my health. I saw an opportunity to eliminate stress and give myself more control over my work-life balance, something more suited to my newfound circumstances.
Fortunately, things worked out for me. I successfully started a freelance copywriting business and now work a compacted week, get to choose my hours and only collaborate with brands and individuals aligned with my ethos.
But not every woman is in the position to leave their job or change their circumstances when infertility takes over most of their waking life. A physical, mental and financial burden that’s all-encompassing.
In recent years, Australian company Zip Co extended paid leave benefits to women who’ve recently experienced pregnancy loss. A move many have praised as a step in the right direction. Leak-proof apparel brand, ModiBodi took it one step further by allowing employees to accrue an additional 10-days of paid leave per year for menstruation, menopause discomfort or in the event of a miscarriage.
But little has been done policywise to throw support behind women experiencing high levels of stress, physical discomfort or grief due to yet another unsuccessful fertility treatment.
Together, we can change that. If you’re in the position to make change, consider how your business can better support employees through infertility:
Normalise infertility and treatment conversations
I recently spoke with a woman who was asked to reconsider going permanent in a role she’d acted in for over a year due to regular sick leave. Five years of failed IVF treatments and multiple surgeries haven’t rendered her incapable of doing her job well — she’s been simultaneously managing the two this whole time. The same way working mums run households and take care of tiny humans while building a successful career.
The difference being leave for parental duties has been normalised in the workplace, and policies reflect that. Starting an open dialogue around fertility is essential in creating an environment where women feel comfortable sharing their stories and treatment plans. Without it, many will continue to be overlooked and unsupported by their employers.
Extend paid personal leave to cover fertility treatments
Fertility treatments are often a long and emotional journey, with treatments drawn out over many months or years. Accessing paid personal leave is usually done under the guise of some other ailment or more accepted work break, further contributing to feelings of isolation and guilt.
Simply changing the language in existing paid personal and bereavement leave to cover fertility treatments and losses will allow women to grieve openly and seek support in the workplace. Providing women additional days of paid leave to undergo IUI or IVF is a precedent every employer should be striving for. The Australian Nursing and Midwifery Federation offers 5-days IVF leave, paving the way for a more equal workplace.
Flexible working arrangements
No woman should have to use her lunch break for invasive tests or scans only to return to her desk an hour later. Nor should they feel leaving the company they’re employed by is their only option to scale back work commitments.
Like me, many women going through fertility treatments want to reduce stress, which can often contribute to issues when trying to conceive. What that looks like depends on the individual. Having options like moving to a short or compacted week, flexible working hours and the ability to move to less demanding roles is a great starting point.
Educate staff and management
Many women choose not to discuss their infertility journey in the workplace because they’re concerned about how colleagues perceive them or how it may impact their careers. Educating staff and management about infertility's physical and emotional impacts can help ensure women receive the proper support in the workplace throughout their treatment.
Infertility is not a choice. It’s a chronic illness that causes lasting trauma on its many victims, regardless of whether they become parents or not. If we are to be inclusive, we need business leaders and individuals to break down barriers and help remove the stigmas attached to infertility. More women need to feel safe and supported in the workplace.
And it starts with you.
Join the movement and share your story too.
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